Military Writers Society of America

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Moms In The Military Raising A Child While Serving In The Armed Forces by Patricia Qaiyyim

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MWSA Review

In her own words, Author Patricia Qaiyyim advises us she wrote Moms in the Military “to help other women understand that they are not alone and provide some helpful insight into their roles as servicewomen and mothers.”

The book accomplishes exactly what the author intended and, in the process, reveals to the civilian the challenges faced by military personnel who are also mothers.

Active duty, reserve, and retired servicewomen from all branches of service offer their insights and experiences on several topics: choosing motherhood and service, family reaction to that choice, the impact of raising a child without a nearby family, the impact of the mother’s extended absences, the impact on the mother’s military service because she is raising children, fears and regrets, rewards and motivations, and, finally, the impact of motherhood on military service.

Several themes emerge as the interviewees share their experiences. Not least among them is the desire to be a good role model for their daughters, to be part of something larger than themselves, to recognize the need to create “family” among other military women, and to enjoy a job with good pay and outstanding benefits for themselves as well as their spouses and children.

Patricia Qaiyyim does an excellent job of explaining military terms and leads off with a glossary at the beginning of the volume. References are well-annotated, and the rank structure is explained. There is also a page of “Tips for Moms” that is helpful.

Although many of the challenges military moms face also apply to mothers in civilian life who hold demanding jobs that require relocation, travel, and long hours, the military service of the interviewed moms is unique. And very few of them would give up one role for the other. They manage, they thrive, they innovate, and they make the path smoother for those who will follow them.

This is a book worth reading for any mom or dad, for any woman or man. But more importantly, it is valuable for any person responsible for setting military policy regarding servicewomen.

In a society that continues to demand more from women than from men regarding raising children, our policymakers should be required to read this book.

Well done, Ms. Qaiyyim!

Review by Pat Walkow (June 2023)
 

Author's Synopsis

As much as thirty percent of the women on active duty and almost thirty-five percent of those serving in the Reserve and Guard are raising their children while serving in their chosen branches. That was not always the case. Fifty years ago, women had the choice to serve in uniform but lost that choice once they became a mom. And today, Congress is still dealing with that decision to force women to separate simply because they had a child.

Today, almost fifty years later, women continue to prove that motherhood is compatible with service in the Armed Forces. The women in this book have served or are serving their country and raising their children in the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines Corps, or Coast Guard.

Check out what this group of “Moms in the Military” have to say about choosing the obligation of service while tackling the responsibilities of motherhood and see how they are proving that motherhood is not a barrier to military service.

These Moms in the Military openly discuss:

     -The decision to remain in the military after pregnancy

     -The impact of military service on their children

     -The impact of separation due to temporary duty/deployment

     -And more

Format(s) for review: Paper Only

Review Genre: Nonfiction—History

Number of Pages: 136

Word Count: 43,161