Military Writers Society of America

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Separated by Duty, by Shellie Vandevoorde

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MWSA Review

Shellie Vandevoorde's book, Separated by Duty, United in Love, is a wonderful and comprehensive guide to long-distance relationships for military couples.  In this updated edition, Mrs. Vandevoorde addresses the concerns of both service member and spouse during every phase of a deployment from pre-deployment mind games to issues with managing homecoming expectations. 

Mrs. Vandevoorde draws on her own experiences and interviews with service members and other military spouses.  She handles even the most sensitive issues, like budgets, infidelity, and wounded warriors, with tactful, sound advice.

As an Army brat and an officer with 14 years of service and three deployments, I highly recommend this book for newly married couples and veterans alike.  Veteran military couples might think there’s nothing new in this book but they will be surprised by how much they learn. 

Reviewed by: Edward Cox (September 2011)


Author's Synopsis

Where Can You Turn. . .?

. . .when the bills are due, the kids are acting out, loneliness and doubt are creeping into your quiet hours--and you're handling it all alone? If your partner is in the military, these challenges may be the greatest that your relationship will ever face. Now is the time you need answers, resources, and understanding. This is the book that will give them to you.

Military wife and U.S. Army veteran Shellie Vandevoorde has penned a practical, compassionate guide to help military couples cope with the separation of active deployment. Now updated and expanded, Separated by Duty, United in Love is infused with her years of experience, offering sound and comforting advice from someone who's been there. Vandevoorde explores real-life issues and shares invaluable insights on the best ways to:

  •  Keep the lines of communication open while your partner is away
  •  Address your children's fears as you cope with your own
  •  Juggle finances and other household duties
  • Find the balance you desperately need
  •  Cope with post-traumatic stress, injury and other challenges when a spouse returns from war
  •  Utilize military resources and support groups to help yourself through the toughest times

You are not alone. Separated by Duty, United in Love gives you the tools and the encouragement you need to help your military relationship survive--and thrive.